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Dating, Profile, Examples |
This article contains the do's and don’ts of replying to
personal ads when online, both when initiating contact and dealing with
inquiries.
Don’ts
Don't write single sentence emails. 'Hey there, I'm Rob. I
like to know you more.’ With an inquiry like that, expect 99% of your emails to
go straight into the recycle bin.
Don't use any sort of 'humorous pick-up lines' in your
emails - Men, resist the urge to write things like 'Hello. Are you taking any
applications for a boyfriend?' or 'you must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me
crazy'.
Don't use a 'form letter' for contacting other singles. You
might think it's carefully crafted, but if it's too generic then you won't gain
that person's interest, and many people will spot what you're up to.
Don't have the 'I'll write an email tomorrow' attitude when
you can do it today. By then, it might be too late and your initial enthusiasm
may have diminished. If you've got the time, write some lines. Don't be bashful
either. You can usually communicate anonymously, so write in a light-heard
tone, but with at least some feeling and a positive attitude. If the person
isn't interested, there's plenty more people to contact.
Don't write too much information. Make it informative and
interesting enough to warrant a response. If it intrigues her/him, you've a far
better chance of further communication. Write in your own personality, and
don't forget to run it through a spelling checker.
Don't ask too many questions or begin to mention boring
stuff like 'hey, the weather's pretty good here in Dumbsville, isn't it?’
Do's
Do write an email that speaks to that person. Reread their
profile and inform them of your thoughts, maybe you found a common interest,
they were funny. Respond to their description of what they are looking for in a
partner. Why should you fit that bill?
Do ask a couple of questions when replying. You want to keep
learning about that person gradually, not have a life story presented before
you. Divulge interesting personal information, but be generic. Don't give away
too much.
Do be patient. Many people won't check their email for 2, 3
or sometimes a week. They may be having a bad time at the moment or under a
mountain of paperwork at the office, so give them time before deciding if you
should resend. A lot of the time, no response will mean no interest.
Do be polite and courteous in everything you write. Always
finish with a thanks or regards, and never ever write in a threatening or
'jokey' manner that could be interpreted as threatening. What one person
perceives as sarcasm, another may view it differently.
Do talk about common interests. If you live in the same
area, then that's something, as will be their profile - it should reveal enough
for you to begin thinking of what to talk about.
Do always be honest in responding. If you aren't interested,
be polite and say so. Don't waste their time by general chit-chat that they
think is leading somewhere.
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